and you said cock pushups were impossible
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
