it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
