Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
