will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
