1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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