I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
