I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
