Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
