I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
