Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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