and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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