wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
