Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
