I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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