Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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