scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
