hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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