She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Text me some of your sweat
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
