What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
