New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
