You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
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