im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
