I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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