Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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