woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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