Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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