Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
