Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My bed smells like the plague
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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