SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
This baby is an asshole
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
