No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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