So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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