it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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