marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
