she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
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