okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
