omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
