he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
