cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
