Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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