I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
