I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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