Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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