im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
