Already got asked if we're dating
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
