I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
