My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
