Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
