Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
