so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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