I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
