question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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