I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
